Something To Be Proud Of

by A Judgmental Swarm Of Bees

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03:26
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02:42
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03:30
9.
06:23

credits

released January 15, 2017

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about

A Judgmental Swarm Of Bees Albany, New York

Hi I'm Sam, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist for this band. My friend Meaghan plays the drums. When we play shows we love to get audience members on stage with us to play the washboard or tambourine. We screen print all of our own merch and record everything ourselves in my basement.

We like what we do, hopefully you will too.
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Track Name: Honeycomb
I ran my mouth and got strung up
Because I felt there was no where to go but up
And there's rhyme and there's reason to my changing with the seasons, I swear there's a heart in these sheets
I'll be the bee to your honeycomb, and in your chest I'll find my home, and I'll fill you up with sweets
And this, is as good as it gets
this is good as its gonna be
I've always had extra quarters lying around in my glove compartment
I have been savin for a rainy day but all of those have gone away
I'll spend ever cent I have on you
Causer you're worth it, you're worth everything I that have to offer
You are the greatest thing, I could ever bring to the table
Just spending time with you no matter what we do makes me happy (x3)
You are the closest thing I have ever had to a family
Track Name: Pseudo Connection
I could write songs about bad politics, and I could write songs about social injustice
But that's a waste of time
I could try to tell you about rising seas, and I could try to explain why the earth is heating
Fuck what the TV tells you, fuck what you hear at night, fuck what you have heard from all your friends even though I know it's right
I'm scared that this song reveals to much
I'm scared that we will never get to touch
I'm scared that Sunday you will live alone
And I'm scared that I'll never find my home
I am only happy when all my friends are happy and it is my fault that I'll never laugh again
I'm subscribed to your blog on the internet, because when I get an update I pretend that its a text
From you, and then I can pretend that I'm happy, because I can make myself believe that we are reconnecting.
I'm scared that this song reveals to much
I'm scared that we will never get to touch
I'm scared that Sunday you will live alone
And I'm scared that I'll never find my home
Track Name: Fake All Along
I've got trouble making friends for that I might say something wrong, there's a fire man in everyone I meet and an arsonist in me
I try to fight it, but no amount of medication could ever truly hide it
Hold onto me like America holds on to 9/11, 2001, and through all this bullshit and shit-storm I just wanna feel like I matter to you more than your gun.
I am not a plagiarist, and I will never see a therapies, because my family does not believe in mental illness
She says "God's got your back" But you can't pray away a heart attack" "Don't be so dramatic, not in this house, if you need to break down, go take a walk around the town."
It's not that I really wanna die, I'm just tired of being alive
I wanna live until I lose all of my hair, it just takes so goddamn long to get there
And the fire in my skull is burinng through my spine
The fear of not knowing what comes next  is the only thing that’s keeping me alive
I am not a pessimist but its just so fucking hard when you've been breastfed piss
And the way I grew up is the reason I have these delusions
I just want someone to hold my hands, I just need some help with all my plans
Track Name: The Fear of what Comes Next (I Get it, I Understand)
You tell me that I have changed, but you'll stay stagnant till you're dead
If the fear of what comes next is keeping you alive then I'm sorry but you're wasting your time
Cause I know what it's like to be dead, I have been killed so many time right here in my own bed
All I know now self defense, I keep a shotgun under my mattress

And I create by destroying, my loved ones and my family
I could try to keep the peace but I can't seem to help but lie

I'm due for some apologies, but I hold animosity
Sinking softly, vast and shitty, stuck inside this run down city
Looking for some sex or pity, stuck inside my own empathy

She said "Could you just forget it, we just won't last", I say "It's okay, I get it, I understand
But now my mouth's full of vomit please let me expand, this was not my intention, it was not my plan
I'm sorry I hurt you but please come back, I'm on crutches without you, cause I can't stand
On my own" and I'm seething, I'm bleeding out, she says "It's okay, I get it, I understand,
but could you just forget it, we just won't last" I say "It's okay, I get it, I understand
It's okay, I get it, I understand, It's okay, I get it, I understand"

I create by destroying, my loved ones and my family
I try to keep the peace but I can't seem to help but lie

I could try to keep the peace but I
I could try to keep the peace but I
Track Name: Where I Came From
This is not a friendship it's a fly caught in a spiders wed
You're the window and I am in your pain
This is not a war to me, despite my vulnerability
I'll hold my tongue while your speaker takes the floor

locked myself away from my best friend
Side A Side B on repeat until the end,

Violence becomes first hand, and compassion has gone away to foreign lands
I ate all the food in my house, now I'm staring wide eyed at the door
Wondering, how many bites till I'm at yours

I just want someone to hold my hand
I just need some help with all my pans (x3)
Track Name: Where I'm Going
What could I possibly do to make a greater world for you
To fill the seas and dry your eyes, how many more miles can we drive
Any car can be our home as long as I am not alone
The end of earth is coming soon and I've built up a word monsoon
This is the light at the end of my tunnel, I have lived and I will learn
and we'll own a bar in our basement in Oregon
I will put stars in your eyes and I will try to make you feel alright
I will put stars in your eyes and I will try to make you feel alright
Track Name: Bas Relief
Saturday, April 30, 2016
3:02 PM

I think about cigarettes
And smoking pot
And I don’t know if I remember the password
for that website that covers my tuition

But cigarettes are expensive
And the last time I did pot is was laced with cocaine
I don 't know if I've recovered since

When did my car become your taxi cab
When did my bed become your hotel room
When did the idea of putting yourself before other only apply to you and never to me
I was drowning, everything was waged against me and you pretended not to see

Get off the internet, and look me in the eye
You don't have to tell me where you'd go if you left this place tonight
Cigarettes are expensive, but they're cheaper than a bus ticket to get you out of town
I could try and try and try but I could never keep you around.

I was your quick fix
I was a band-aid for your brain
I was the alcohol for a wound now watch me sink down the drain

There are paintings
There is art on the walls and I have no idea what any of it means
There are paintings, there are sculptures in bas relief
And as I look at you, and hold your hand, I'm relieved
Track Name: Frankenstein
No one gives a shit about your opinion
Everything that you say hurts everybody in the room
You should know not to bite the hand that feeds you
You do not get a choice in the friends that leave you

I can't write songs about cigarettes, even though that seems to be the local trend
I have always been too afraid of dying, and I'm not the type of person to keep trying,
After someone tells me that my dream is dead, and Frankenstein is only in my head
The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed
The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed

You smell like dog shit, and you look like garbage
You sound like indigestion, you feel like sand paper
Are you high enough, are you drunk enough,
Are you fucked up enough to pretend that you are happy with me

I can't write songs about cigarettes, even thought that seems to be the local trend
I've always been too afraid of dying, and I'm not the type of person to keep trying,
After someone tells me that my dream is dead, and Frankenstein is only in my head
The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed

The clothes that you wear will not get you anywhere
But you're welcome to try, I'll try to help you get by
I'm glad that you are alive, and you're having good times
And it's good to see that you're not lonelier than me
And if you care to hear it, know that I am alright, I'm doin fine
Track Name: Hollow
You talk about world peace, but where's my peace of mind
There's things that scare me and you tell me to ignore them so I'll try
You wanna see the world you're kickin sand in my eyes
silver soul lining, please look up and ask me why I'm crying
Please stop talking I cant take it anymore, the sensory overload is pounding at my forehead
and I cant take it, I'm gonna lose my head, you think you're better than me but we both will end up dead

Candy cane cigarettes
for the hypochondriac

I don't know why they say that people change,
Cause ice cream melts but it still tastes the same
The snake just changes skin so you let'em back in
But they're the same, they never change
The ship's been sinking since we climbed on board, eating a homemade meal with my family and I don't know what I'm tankful for
I would thank you not to talk to me and I'd thank you just to talk to me

Candy cane cigarettes
for the hypochondriac
Fill my lungs with blood and yell at me when I don't swim back
Fuck the elastic, your life is tragic

You say hello I think you're hallow
And if you lie to me I'm gonna make you scream
And there is just one thing fir you I could ever be

Candy cane cigarettes
for the hypochondriac
Fill my lungs with blood and yell at me when I don't swim back
Fuck the elastic, your life is tragic

You're breathing heavy on a bathroom floor, because you got too fucked up last night,
And your boss is beginning to get suspicious about the condition of your body.
You're on the floor, and I'm scream'n (x2)
Please wake up (x8)