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Something To Be Proud Of

by A Judgmental Swarm Of Bees

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1.
Honeycomb 03:26
I ran my mouth and got strung up Because I felt there was no where to go but up And there's rhyme and there's reason to my changing with the seasons, I swear there's a heart in these sheets I'll be the bee to your honeycomb, and in your chest I'll find my home, and I'll fill you up with sweets And this, is as good as it gets this is good as its gonna be I've always had extra quarters lying around in my glove compartment I have been savin for a rainy day but all of those have gone away I'll spend ever cent I have on you Causer you're worth it, you're worth everything I that have to offer You are the greatest thing, I could ever bring to the table Just spending time with you no matter what we do makes me happy (x3) You are the closest thing I have ever had to a family
2.
I could write songs about bad politics, and I could write songs about social injustice But that's a waste of time I could try to tell you about rising seas, and I could try to explain why the earth is heating Fuck what the TV tells you, fuck what you hear at night, fuck what you have heard from all your friends even though I know it's right I'm scared that this song reveals to much I'm scared that we will never get to touch I'm scared that Sunday you will live alone And I'm scared that I'll never find my home I am only happy when all my friends are happy and it is my fault that I'll never laugh again I'm subscribed to your blog on the internet, because when I get an update I pretend that its a text From you, and then I can pretend that I'm happy, because I can make myself believe that we are reconnecting. I'm scared that this song reveals to much I'm scared that we will never get to touch I'm scared that Sunday you will live alone And I'm scared that I'll never find my home
3.
I've got trouble making friends for that I might say something wrong, there's a fire man in everyone I meet and an arsonist in me I try to fight it, but no amount of medication could ever truly hide it Hold onto me like America holds on to 9/11, 2001, and through all this bullshit and shit-storm I just wanna feel like I matter to you more than your gun. I am not a plagiarist, and I will never see a therapies, because my family does not believe in mental illness She says "God's got your back" But you can't pray away a heart attack" "Don't be so dramatic, not in this house, if you need to break down, go take a walk around the town." It's not that I really wanna die, I'm just tired of being alive I wanna live until I lose all of my hair, it just takes so goddamn long to get there And the fire in my skull is burinng through my spine The fear of not knowing what comes next  is the only thing that’s keeping me alive I am not a pessimist but its just so fucking hard when you've been breastfed piss And the way I grew up is the reason I have these delusions I just want someone to hold my hands, I just need some help with all my plans
4.
You tell me that I have changed, but you'll stay stagnant till you're dead If the fear of what comes next is keeping you alive then I'm sorry but you're wasting your time Cause I know what it's like to be dead, I have been killed so many time right here in my own bed All I know now self defense, I keep a shotgun under my mattress And I create by destroying, my loved ones and my family I could try to keep the peace but I can't seem to help but lie I'm due for some apologies, but I hold animosity Sinking softly, vast and shitty, stuck inside this run down city Looking for some sex or pity, stuck inside my own empathy She said "Could you just forget it, we just won't last", I say "It's okay, I get it, I understand But now my mouth's full of vomit please let me expand, this was not my intention, it was not my plan I'm sorry I hurt you but please come back, I'm on crutches without you, cause I can't stand On my own" and I'm seething, I'm bleeding out, she says "It's okay, I get it, I understand, but could you just forget it, we just won't last" I say "It's okay, I get it, I understand It's okay, I get it, I understand, It's okay, I get it, I understand" I create by destroying, my loved ones and my family I try to keep the peace but I can't seem to help but lie I could try to keep the peace but I I could try to keep the peace but I
5.
This is not a friendship it's a fly caught in a spiders wed You're the window and I am in your pain This is not a war to me, despite my vulnerability I'll hold my tongue while your speaker takes the floor locked myself away from my best friend Side A Side B on repeat until the end, Violence becomes first hand, and compassion has gone away to foreign lands I ate all the food in my house, now I'm staring wide eyed at the door Wondering, how many bites till I'm at yours I just want someone to hold my hand I just need some help with all my pans (x3)
6.
What could I possibly do to make a greater world for you To fill the seas and dry your eyes, how many more miles can we drive Any car can be our home as long as I am not alone The end of earth is coming soon and I've built up a word monsoon This is the light at the end of my tunnel, I have lived and I will learn and we'll own a bar in our basement in Oregon I will put stars in your eyes and I will try to make you feel alright I will put stars in your eyes and I will try to make you feel alright
7.
Bas Relief 02:42
Saturday, April 30, 2016 3:02 PM I think about cigarettes And smoking pot And I don’t know if I remember the password for that website that covers my tuition But cigarettes are expensive And the last time I did pot is was laced with cocaine I don 't know if I've recovered since When did my car become your taxi cab When did my bed become your hotel room When did the idea of putting yourself before other only apply to you and never to me I was drowning, everything was waged against me and you pretended not to see Get off the internet, and look me in the eye You don't have to tell me where you'd go if you left this place tonight Cigarettes are expensive, but they're cheaper than a bus ticket to get you out of town I could try and try and try but I could never keep you around. I was your quick fix I was a band-aid for your brain I was the alcohol for a wound now watch me sink down the drain There are paintings There is art on the walls and I have no idea what any of it means There are paintings, there are sculptures in bas relief And as I look at you, and hold your hand, I'm relieved
8.
Frankenstein 03:30
No one gives a shit about your opinion Everything that you say hurts everybody in the room You should know not to bite the hand that feeds you You do not get a choice in the friends that leave you I can't write songs about cigarettes, even though that seems to be the local trend I have always been too afraid of dying, and I'm not the type of person to keep trying, After someone tells me that my dream is dead, and Frankenstein is only in my head The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed You smell like dog shit, and you look like garbage You sound like indigestion, you feel like sand paper Are you high enough, are you drunk enough, Are you fucked up enough to pretend that you are happy with me I can't write songs about cigarettes, even thought that seems to be the local trend I've always been too afraid of dying, and I'm not the type of person to keep trying, After someone tells me that my dream is dead, and Frankenstein is only in my head The only thing that I want to be lonelier than me is my bed The clothes that you wear will not get you anywhere But you're welcome to try, I'll try to help you get by I'm glad that you are alive, and you're having good times And it's good to see that you're not lonelier than me And if you care to hear it, know that I am alright, I'm doin fine
9.
Hollow 06:23
You talk about world peace, but where's my peace of mind There's things that scare me and you tell me to ignore them so I'll try You wanna see the world you're kickin sand in my eyes silver soul lining, please look up and ask me why I'm crying Please stop talking I cant take it anymore, the sensory overload is pounding at my forehead and I cant take it, I'm gonna lose my head, you think you're better than me but we both will end up dead Candy cane cigarettes for the hypochondriac I don't know why they say that people change, Cause ice cream melts but it still tastes the same The snake just changes skin so you let'em back in But they're the same, they never change The ship's been sinking since we climbed on board, eating a homemade meal with my family and I don't know what I'm tankful for I would thank you not to talk to me and I'd thank you just to talk to me Candy cane cigarettes for the hypochondriac Fill my lungs with blood and yell at me when I don't swim back Fuck the elastic, your life is tragic You say hello I think you're hallow And if you lie to me I'm gonna make you scream And there is just one thing fir you I could ever be Candy cane cigarettes for the hypochondriac Fill my lungs with blood and yell at me when I don't swim back Fuck the elastic, your life is tragic You're breathing heavy on a bathroom floor, because you got too fucked up last night, And your boss is beginning to get suspicious about the condition of your body. You're on the floor, and I'm scream'n (x2) Please wake up (x8)

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released January 15, 2017

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